3 Ways We Use Dreams in Therapy
Over a hundred years ago, Freud thought of dreams in a patient's psychoanalysis as “the royal road to the unconscious.” Today, views about the ways he used dreams have shifted, but a lot of psychoanalytic psychotherapists continue to use dreams in sessions as a window into subconscious desires.
Fairly early in treatment, I like to get an idea about a patient's dreams; if they dream at all, if they lucid dream, if they never remember their dreams, or if they have recurring dreams either currently or when they were younger. For most who say that they never remember their dreams, sometimes by mentioning that dreams can be helpful in therapy encourages the person to write down even a few images upon waking that they might usually forget.
Below are three ways that I will use dreams in therapy sessions in an effort to be curious about the person sitting in front of me.
Free Association
Freudians will often use free association as a sort of stream of consciousness spoken out loud as the thoughts occur to them. Historically, this would happen on the couch, would induce a dreamlike state in the session, and would be part of a psychoanalysis that would occur three to five times weekly. These days, those who attend therapy that often are usually training to be psychoanalysts themselves. I typically see people once or twice weekly and free association sessions looks very different.
When someone presents a dream, it is not my job to interpret it. I want to hear what the patient makes of the dream. I ask about their associations to the dream. What does it make you think of? Has that ever happened to you? For example, if a patient presents a dream where they are selling lemonade on the beach, and they or having difficulty making change for people, I might start by asking what the main feeling in the dream was. If the answer is "frustration,” I would ask them if there are similar frustrations that they have experienced. They also may have an association to lemonade, or the beach, or difficulty in math growing up. The possibilities are endless, but it can really open up conversation and curiosity into a patient's psyche.
What is the dream saying to you?
In my experience, our subconscious mind is really bad at metaphors. If someone comes to me with a dream about growing more teeth than their mouth can fit, we might riff on the idea of feeling crowded. In what ways are you feeling like you need more space in your life?
Asking what the dream might be trying to tell you if it could speak directly to you can be a helpful way of understanding unconscious desires and wishes. Perhaps a “silly dream” is just your subconscious watering down painful feelings or feelings that are really uncomfortable to admit.
We play all the parts in our dreams.
If you think about it, having a dream where your sister makes an appearance probably isn't her consciousness entering into yours. You made the dream, that's all you! Instead of taking the dream so literally, what if the role she plays in your dream is a part of you?
For example, if in the dream, you and your sister are arguing over how to handle a situation, conceptualize it as two parts of you. One part of you wants to handle it one way, and another part of you that maybe has some traits of your sister wants to handle it another way. Perhaps it represents an internal conflict. What part of you identifies with her? The same question can be asked for a variety of dreams where people you haven't seen in a while make an appearance. Maybe dreaming about an ex doesn't mean you should necessarily get back together with them, but what part of you that identifies with them is trying to say something?
Sharing your dreams can be a very intimate process, and having the conversation with your therapist about whether or not they would find that helpful may help you feel more comfortable about sharing them. We want to hear from all parts of you, conscious and subconscious and nothing is too wild to share. In fact, if it is difficult to talk about, I would argue something needs to be talked about!
