Three Ways to Get Through This Holiday Season.
In our popular consciousness, the holiday season is a time for family, friends, reliving old memories and creating new ones. It is the time for joyous celebrations in the presence of the loved ones in your life where you take your place in time-honored family traditions. Of course, social media feeds into and amplifies this discourse, making many of us feel like we are at fault, or less than, if we are not transported every year by the holiday spirit.
Holiday blues are normal
The reality is, the holidays aren’t so wonderful for everyone. For some, the holiday season comes with a sinking feeling, because you are grieving the loss or absence of your loved ones or the relationships you wish you’d had. You may resent family gatherings because a feud is inevitable, old hostilities flare up, too familiar patterns of behavior re-assert themselves. It may make you feel powerless and hopeless, as if the circumstances surrounding you are beyond your control. It is not because you don’t value the things that others value, but the fact that these relationships are so powerful and hold such an important place in your life.
How to approach the holiday with yourself
Here is the question that you may wish to ask yourself: How do I want to approach this holiday season? What are the choices you can make to cope with the stress that comes with this time of year? Here are some approaches you could consider to help you get through the holidays:
1. Self-care
Your mind and body need nourishment to manage your stress. Try to develop good sleep habits. A quick walk as part of your routine may be just enough to give you that needed energy and stability when things can be notoriously unpredictable. Self-care may also look different for everyone. Find what works for you. This may mean skipping a family activity and spending the time reading your favorite book. Read more about what self-care is and it isn’t here.
2. Make the holidays your own
Thanksgiving turkey, gifts under the Christmas tree…the usual expressions of the holiday season aren’t for everyone. Feast over your own culture’s traditional cuisines or activities as a way to connect and bond within your family.
3. Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries allows you to empower yourself to decide what, when and how you want to do things, instead of waiting for others to notice and accommodate your needs. Re-claiming your autonomy may mean giving a hard “no” or having a talk and coming to a mutually agreeable place. Having the talk before holiday may help avoid uncomfortable and awkward moments. Holiday seasons as an opportunity for growth
Amid all these anxieties, with a change in perspective, the holidays can be seen as an opportunity for inner-growth, an opportunity to be curious about your emotions and thoughts as they arise from places that may have long remained hidden. What is it that just made you sad, or angry? What seemingly random detail triggered such a vehement response in you? These pieces of information are all valuable because they tell something about what makes you uniquely you. As you navigate the holidays, collecting and examining these pieces of your own experience may be a way to understand where you stand in your life’s story, which can be messy, hard to handle, and, yes, full of joy too.
