Diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult: Now What?

The discovery as an adult that you have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can initially leave you with more questions than answers. The influx of information can be overwhelming, with some of it being useful and some just plain noisy. You may stumble upon unexpected methods for managing your ADHD, like reducing sugar intake or using productivity apps. You might hear about medications, coaching, or workplace accommodations that may be valuable tools in an ADHD management toolkit. But you also may feel the need to make sense of what can be a life-altering diagnosis, bringing with it a range of emotions. Relief, regret, shame and anger are all common reactions. But a diagnosis of ADHD can also be an opportunity to see yourself from a fresh perspective and to develop new ways of looking at your life.

Facing the Emotional Fallout

ADHD often comes with a heavy dose of shame. You’ve struggled to fit the mold of “normal” leading to criticism, self-doubt, and a nagging feeling of inadequacy. Learning self- compassion can be tough when you’re accustomed to blaming yourself for everything. This diagnosis might also lead to a wave of grief. You might mourn missed opportunities, relationships, or careers that always seemed out of reach. You may feel angry about not being diagnosed earlier, perhaps because of a lack of resources or understanding about ADHD. It is difficult to acknowledge those “what ifs” and feel the pain of unfulfilled dreams. 

Finding Yourself with ADHD

The diagnosis itself can be a double-edged sword. It can be a revelation, a long-awaited explanation for your struggles. But it can also be jarring, forcing you to re-evaluate how you see yourself. Sharing your diagnosis with others can be another hurdle. You might face dismissive comments like “you just described your entire personality” or accusations of faking it, given your career successes. Your relationships with others, and even your relationship with yourself, might need some adjusting. 

Your Story of the Past, Present, and Future

At the heart of discovering your ADHD is recognizing your strengths and the resilience that helped you get to where you are now, despite your daily challenges that others may not face. This strength and resilience can help open a path forward that works best for you.